your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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