I feel like abortions should bother me more
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
