You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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