Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
