I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
