I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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