Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
