Dual....:-)
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
