Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
