she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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