Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
