so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
