everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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