Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
