Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
