you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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