garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
