The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
