I murdered the dance floor call the cops
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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