I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
