I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is wine microwaveable?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
