Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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