Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
