There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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