it wasn't lemon gatorade
i barfeds in our rink
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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