And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
