they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize