Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
