this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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