stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
