just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
