I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
