she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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