hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
