We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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