I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
