I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
