I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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