Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
