Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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