come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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