How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
