Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
