i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
