Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
