Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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