Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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