u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
