I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize