we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
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I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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