this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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