I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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