best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
