Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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