Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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