Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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