rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
