So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
