Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
