why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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