You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
