Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
