whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Couch. On fire.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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