I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize