I wish I only lived at night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
